Death by Induction - Part 2

“Actually MT stands for Managed Trainees, not…whatever you just said”

“Says who?” Kritin asked in a defiant voice.

“Dude, Nikku and Kardick both have close relatives who work for the company. They talked to all of us yesterday and revealed the ugly truth, apparently for our benefit. These recruitment people try to make you feel special before you accept the offer. After that, it is all about managing you and giving you all the bottom-level, support work until you manage to find a way out” Meechu answered.

This news seemed to sap Kritin of all his remaining courage. His shoulders visibly sagged and he covered his face with his hands. He also resumed his shivering, although that was partly because of the insanely low temperature setting for the room’s air-conditioning.

His reaction seemed to alarm the group.

“Er…are you ok? You are not having a stroke or something, right?” Kardick asked gently, looking a little scared. Kritin nodded to show that he was fine, at least physically.

“Give him some time Yaar. He just realized what a pickle he is in. Our reactions were not much better yesterday” Meechu told the others.

“Well no use fretting now. Just try to remain calm and professional and register on Naukar.com as soon as you get back to the hotel today evening.” Prachur commented wisely.

“Isn’t there a separate job search website for people from Well-known Management Institutes?” Nikku asked the others.

“Naah, it’s just named that way. Anybody can register.” Kardick grunted.

“Damn them!” Nikku exclaimed angrily.

In the meanwhile, Kritin had regained some of his composure. He looked straight ahead and mumbled, “Thank you guys for telling me this. Anyway, I don’t think it could be that bad. Maybe the people whom you talked to have become cynical having been in this company for so long and what you guys heard was a biased opinion.”

“Oh I think it might be much worse! Those people seemed to be holding something back” Prachur said.

“He is right in a way though. No point crying over spilt beer” said Meechu.

In the interim, a large, plump person had made his way to the podium. He cleared his throat loudly to announce his presence. Unfortunately he did that right in front of the microphone which happened to be on (and turned to full volume by the sound of it). Everybody in the room, including him, jumped in reaction to the sudden, loud sound.

“Sorry!” he screamed in the kind of shrill voice that makes your hair stand on end. Of course, the amplified sound was once again too loud for comfort. People covered their ears and glared at him reproachfully. He finally seemed to realize what the problem was and spoke in a much softer voice this time.

“My name is Puchir and I am from the HR. I am here to brief you all about the program for the week. Today we will have sessions by Mr. XYZ and Mr. ZYX. Ms. Feha will take a session on HR as well.”

At this point a vast majority of the audience turned to their neighbors and (presumably) started complaining about the atrocities they will be subjected to over the coming fortnight. The more liberated folks naturally decided to indulge in a more colorful way of expressing their feelings, only some of them even trying to keep their voices outside Puchir’s earshot.

Somehow, Puchir mistook the outburst of protests for excitement and/or enthusiasm. Sounding as if he was giving everybody a real treat, he added, “Before we get to the sessions, we have a bunch of forms for you to fill!”

A stunned silence followed this announcement. A couple of HR minions entered the room right on cue and started distributing packets that seemed to be bursting with forms of every size, shape and color.

“These bloody HR people! All they think about is the best way to simultaneously waste the time of the maximum number of people possible.” Prachur complained as a packet was ungraciously thrust in his face.

“Looking at this junk, this company’s HR team seems to be exceptionally efficient at it” said Nikku.

The next 2 hours passed in a blur of form-filling, non-stop bitching and people constantly trying to find spare pens (or occasionally, trying to find their only pen which they had graciously lent to somebody). After losing his patience within the first 10 minutes, Kardick decided to blindly write his name on and sign every page of every form, which to Kritin’s surprise worked quite well. Prachur after much provocation by the others decided to approach Priyu with the ready-made excuse of asking for a pen. To everybody’s amusement, he came back red-faced as in response to his query Priyu merely raised her eyebrows in surprise and got back to filling her form.

It took a couple of hours for most people to be done with their forms. The HR minions returned to collect the packages from everyone and carried the huge pile away on a broken trolley-like contraption which looked suspiciously like one of those garbage-carrying trolley used by municipal workers. Nikku was certain that he saw the word Garbage written on the far side of it.

“I am telling you guys! It was faint but unmistakable!” he tried to convince the others.

“Well good riddance if that’s true” said Kardick with a disgusted expression on his face.

Puchir made another appearance on the podium.

“Huuuhh…you guys can all go and have your lunch now. Make sure you return by 2 for the first session.”

“About bloody time!” Meechu exclaimed as there was a sudden scramble to get out of the room. Kritin and the others had to wait till almost everyone had left the room. They followed the mass of MTs to the cafeteria, where everyone seemed to be crowding around the entrance.

“What the hell is wrong with these people? Don’t they even know how doors work?” Meechu cried out in frustration.

An exceptionally tall guy standing just in front of him replied, “It seems MTs are being turned away from the cafeteria by one of the HR people.”

“Great! One HR giveth, another taketh away” said Kardick sounding tired and resigned to his fate.

“Where has Nikku disappeared?” Kritin asked, suddenly having noticed that there were four of them there.

“Good question. Maybe he went to the restroom” Prachur suggested.

In the meanwhile, there seemed to be a shouting match going on next to the crowded doorway. Presumably it was one of the girls in the group (the Neta sort) who was letting the evil HR have it. Or maybe it was the other way around. Everyone at the back was trying to catch a glimpse of this soap opera-ish tussle. After some five minutes, the HR emerged from the crowd, clearly in a towering rage. She stormed off towards one of the several corridors. The Neta, whoever she happened to be, announced in a loud (and dismayed) voice that the cafeteria could not handle such a large group of MTs and so they all were to make their own arrangements for lunch.

“Let’s head out to that dhaba close to the intersection before the guy’s food is wiped out by this mob!” Meechu had to shout in order to be heard over the din that had broken out after the announcement. All of them had to resort to running flat out to stay ahead of the crowd.

“Managed Trainees my ass!” Kardick exclaimed angrily as he was pushed hard by one of the guys running right behind him. “Some of these guys seem to be lifetime members of The Global Association for Rude and Dangerously Violent People!” None of the others were in any shape to comment.

Thankfully the sliding doors were left open at lunch time else quite a few of the MTs (including the gang) would have had to be scraped off the reinforced glass by medics. The mad rush ebbed noticeably once most MTs got past the gate. A lot of them headed to a diminutive Pizza Hut located right across the road and only few of the remaining ones followed Kritin and the gang to the rather shady-looking dhaba.

They were no sooner seated on a rickety bench in the dhaba when Prachur's phone started belting out one of those Punjabi numbers that are perennially popular with the DJs.

Prachur remarked before taking the call, "It's that idiot Nikku!"

(Rest in Part 3. This reminds me of one of those multi-issue comics...or even Kill Bill, except it had just 2 parts!) :D